Kids these days.

I'm sure we all have had times where people ask us how we feel and even though we feel like crawling into a hole and hiding for the rest of our lives we say something generic like "I'm alright" or "Could be worse", something along the lines of us being ok and the world being how it should be.
Why do we lie about it? If we're having an awful day why not just say it?
I have a friend whom I absolutely love! He's such a great guy and he's an absolutely amazing friend! On the outside he seems like Mr. Happy. He has so much going for him in his life and everyone loves being around him because he's so much fun! But he's not. He is so heartbroken and damaged for reasons that I don't even know. He's thought about suicide but for whatever reason he will never actually do it, or so he says.
I can't help but wonder if having other people know about how he truly feels would help him. If I had known what was going on in his head I might have been there for him in different ways. And I understand that people don't want to burden others with their problems but there are people, myself included, that have a passion for helping others. And sometimes just talking about heartache can make a person feel better. I'm not just talking without knowledge. In my short life I have experienced pain and heartache and I know that talking would have helped me if someone had been willing to listen and I had been willing to talk.
Maybe we all need to wear our hearts on our sleeves...maybe then there would be less pain because people would be able to see it and they wouldn't be able to ignore it.

Today's Men....and Women

I recently watched a movie (unfortunately I don't remember the name) about a man who is accidentally brought to the present from the 1800's. The man from the past, who was understandably lost in the modern world, met a young women who he fell in love with. (the makings of a "great" romance). This women was definitely a modern women, she had just gotten out of a long relationship with a buffoon of a man and she had little patience for this "weirdo" from out of town. She convinced herself that he was just an actor playing a part in preparation for some sort of role but she could not help but fall in love with him. To make a long story short, the man went back to his own time and the women found a way to follow. They got married and it's understood they lived happily ever after...the end.
200 years ago how the man from the movie acted wouldn't have been so romantic to a women. 200 years ago, manners and the art of wooing a woman wasn't unheard of in a man. I'm not blaming this romantic tragedy on men alone; if women demanded men to be the gallant hero's of centuries ago maybe things would be just as romantic now.
But is that what women want? We fought to be equal and we started the feminist movement...or a large number of us did. Most men didn't want any part in it. They were happy bringing home the money while we women did the cooking and cleaning (both things I'm happy men now do too...). But women weren't happy so they fought for the right to be equal! Which I couldn't be happier about!
However, seeing as women fought to be equal does that mean that the romantic era is over?
Unfortunately, it seems to mean exactly that. Because women fought to be equal to the point where some females will cause a scene over having a door opened for them or a chair pulled out when they go to sit down. What's wrong with that? If a guy is willing to pull out your chair or hold open a door for you, let him! There are still women in the world wanting that chivalry.
Men will use all the "old fashion" politeness to their advantage now. Many women feel that when a dude holds open a door or pulls out a chair their expecting some action later. Which is true in some cases which is awful because sometimes the boy was just brought up to be polite.
It says in the bible that men and women are equal. Eve was made from Adam. They were equal in the eyes of God which is all that matters really. The bible does say that the man is the head of the house hold though. He should be the one providing for his wife and kids. It's his responsibility to take care of the household. It also says that it's the man's job to make the decisions. Before anyone gets upset, the bible says that though the man makes the decisions he is to confide in his wife! No decision (no serious or big decision) was to be made without talking to the wife; the final say was given by the man though. Which I think is fair, then it's the guys fault if something goes wrong. :)
Nowhere in the bible are men made to be better than women, or vice versa.
I think romantics should still be a part of life. I would love to have a dude take me off into the sunset or dance with me under the stars. Even just tell me he loves me out of the blue. Nothing too crazy lovey. But, and I'm just guessing, I'm sure guys like it when their girlfriend or wife brings them coffee at work or sits in the middle on a long drive. And maybe they even like it when she says "I love you" out of the blue.

What to do now....

This is my first ever blog...it's likely going to be terrible and maybe even a little embarrassing but sometimes you have to do embarrassing or terrifying things in life. In history there are hundreds, maybe thousands, of men and women that had to do terrifying and embarrassing things but they're now remembered for doing those things. Maybe that's how this will turn out. Probably not, but maybe.
I haven't yet posted a description of my blog but I haven't really decided what I want it to be about. Today I just felt the need to write something down, and I will eventually get to it, and I felt that just writing it down wasn't good enough, someone had to read it. Now, if I was actually any good at writing maybe I could have put it in a book or poem but I wouldn't know how to do that either, and it would likely never get published. This way maybe at least one person will see what I have to say and maybe it'll be exactly what they need to hear.
I don't know if you are wondering why I decided to write but I guess I'll tell you anyway. I have always enjoyed writing, songs, poems, stories, random words. I just love writing. Unfortunately I don't seem to write anything good. I recently tried writing a book; I have 3 pages done and the one person I let read it told me that it's simplistic so I stopped writing...not exactly a positive reaction but I have no interest in writing something dull. Earlier I said that I felt like I had something that needed to be said and heard, the feeling I believe came from God. I'm sure not everyone who reads this will believe in God but you don't have to to understand what I have to say...so here it is:
My whole life I have been trying to control things; what I wear, what I say, what I eat, where I go, who I see, how I look. All of it had to be controlled. As I grew up my need for control increased. I wanted to know where I was going to university and what I was going in for. Now, so far none of this sounds like a crazy control freak but I didn't have to be one to mess up my life. The Bible says that we have to give the control to God, for none believers it would be like going with the flow. We don't have to worry about what we're going to do now...it has all been taken care of!
For example, I said I wanted to decide where I was going to university, so I did. I made a terrible choice and for a long time I regretted it. I was just out of high school and was living 14 hours away from home with no family, no friends, and no faith. I struggled like crazy for the first few months away from home and I was actually close to being suicidal...one day I decided to go to church with my aunt (I only met her once before) and at church the pastor told a story that went something like this
 There was a gentleman who had always been a Christian, he was raised with God in his life and he knew the truth of His love. But for whatever reason he had lost sight of God and was struggling in his life. This poor man was in a place where he didn't feel Gods love. While standing in church one day this man prayed to God saying "God, if You're really real have a man sit underneath the piano today in church." Now, why someone would sit under a piano normally I don't know, and why the man who walked from the back of the church all the way to the front in the middle of the sermon to sit under the piano I'm sure most people didn't know. But that day, God used one of His children to bring light and love to another.
When I heard that story I decided to pray to God and ask Him "God, if you truly love me have someone tell me that you do today." Because of the place I was in I felt that I wasn't worth God's time, He wouldn't do that for me because I wasn't good enough. I am so happy He proved me wrong! After the serves a lady whom I had never met came up to me and told me of God's great love for me. She continued to tell me that my future was bright if I followed God's will. That day I promised to do God's will instead of mine. That day I asked God what am I to do now...
Even though I had done my own thing by deciding to go to a university for something that wasn't right for me I believe that by giving control of my life over to God things turned out better than they ever would have if I had kept control.
Right now I'm doing what I love and playing football, I'm broke and don't have a job yet but I'm not worried. I know that God has a plan and when the right job comes I will be ready.